Just about YOU, your kids, your dreams for where you want to be, things you want to try… a bucket list of sorts. And so we, too, have to be honest about the level of detail we choose to go into when asked about Hope.We also had to grieve the “idea” of what we thought Hope would be – we had to let go of this idea of “fine” because medicine couldn’t give HLHS babies that. I love your comment about meeting those baby chart goals and that you no longer feel that need to follow. give me one good beat! I’ve told you about my abusive past relationship. Which is probably why I did settle for an idiot before, and won’t settle again. All she said was that she understood completely. I've Learned The Most Unlearning Everything I've Ever KnownAlexander and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.Just insert my name instead of Alex’s up there, and switch day for… I dunno, year?
(give me!) give me one them funky beats boy! I invited you into my many one night stands because I have major trust issues. I’d cherish the opportunity to share a vulnerable moment, mother-to-mother, or father-to-father in John’s case, and start to build a community of parents who lift each other up when they are struggling and hurting and tear down the stereotypical, catty, PTA meal-girl mom dynamics that were part of what scared me about motherhood, to begin with!
It was just a decade thing.I read your post and I thought “I understand completely. Still have nothing on the horizons other than being a mom. But we hope that we haven’t participated in the type of relentless false-positivity that is so pervasive on social media today.The first of these things is a video snippet I came across on Facebook – normally full of garbage, but once in a while you find a little gem (I’ve shared a link to the entire video below). (get up!) Your family has become a part of my daily prayers and yet you are technically a stranger. Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.
I’ve certainly had my fair share of emotions these past several months – positive and negative – let me watch this and see if I can take something valuable away,” I thought to myself.
Watching Hope learn new skills has opened my eyes to this in a new way. I think to be vulnerable and allow others behind the curtain has potential to help encourage other moms – heart moms and heart-healthy moms alike. And I’m not sure why. There is real grief in these losses, no matter how trivial they may seem to some people.
give me one them funky beats! But when I reverse it, I know I would welcome a real conversation with any of the amazing mothers I know about a hard time, a pain, etc. Post was not sent - check your email addresses! I can see her stress and discomfort and see that if I intervened each time, she’d take so much longer to learn those skills herself, like reaching for her little toys to make herself happy.
I would never know what it was like to feed her from my own breast. There’s no easy answer and I wish for your sake there was. I have had times when I just didn’t want to be positive and find the silver lining anymore – I just had to cry, let it all out and accept that I wasn’t going to have some of the newborn experiences with Hope that I had longed to have. And I found him, but it was the cosmic joke of “right person, wrong time” so we are friends (and I cry every night after we’ve spent time together because damn I love him and I won’t lose his friendship but it hurts not being able to have what we had) so I completely get it… So I’m trying to focus on me, on my kids, and have faith that love will happen properly when it’s supposed to. None of which did anything but irritate her even more than she was already.
Can we all stop pretending to be the picture-perfect mother who always has her $hit together, is always happy, always on time (This is my absolute favorite quote from the TED Talk. Hope is so lucky to have such strong and smart parents. I connected with you as a mom and a part of the CHD community and although I do not share the same experience I want you to know so much of what you share has such an impact on me.
We all have our battles – every single one of us.